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C is for Courage

When we were en route to Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica I’ll admit I had expectations.

 

I was expecting an easy way into relationship.

I was expecting a lot of beach time.

I was expecting a lot of outreach.

I was expecting to find a home here.

 

I’m sure you’ve guessed it, but expectations usually leave us disappointed. Nothing has turned out the way I imagined it here – I swear I’ve been wet for the past two months – be it from sweat, humidity or pouring rain. Our things have gotten moldy, I’m still on medication remedying a GI tract infection and two parasites and communication in general has been HARD.

And yet, there is light and lightness. And yet, the Father is still good. 


As we were preparing to arrive, I prayed over C squad, asking for words for them – asking how the Lord defined them and saw them. I wanted to welcome the 24 squad members with eager and open arms, as well as willing and open eyes.

 

This is what He told me :

C is for compassion

for commitment

for curious.

C is for character

for craving

for captivated.

C is for courage.

C is NOT for conditional

NOT for comfortable

NOT for convenient

NOT for coincidence

NOT for chaff

NOT for chaos. 

C is for courage.


 

To sweet C squad, thank you.

Thank you for choosing into the hard and the uncomfortable so that we could learn how to be courageous together, chasing the Father with fervent hearts and zealous spirits. 

Thank you for the way you are truly and utterly captivated by Jesus and what he has done and continues to do for you, through you and with you.

Thank you for your compassion for yourselves and for others, as you seek to truly be vessels of the Lord’s love for the people you encounter.

Most of all – thank you for being Christ – God with skin on. Thank you for carrying his word and his truth in you with each step. Thank you for seeking to serve, to listen, to love, to paint, to shovel dirt, mix concrete, encourage, laugh, sweat your brains out and take cold showers. Thank you for singing, for worshipping, for simply BEING. 

 

Your being is an act of worship. Your breath brings Heaven to life here. And you have brought me life. And you have reminded me of my courage and my need for compassion – internally and externally. 


 

And finally, thanks God.

Thanks for never giving up on me, even when I don’t want to commune with you.

Thanks for each squad you’ve allowed us to work with this year and the gifts they’ve been and the gifts they’ve brought. 

Thank you for soccer ministry and out-of-nowhere rain storms.

Thanks for letting us lead a trip of high schoolers to Guatemala – your surprises are the best.

Thank you for somehow keeping my hope of having a family alive.

Thanks that you’re not a God of math – but of abundance. Thank you that we’ve never been without, even though it often seems like we will be.

Thanks for good and accessible health care and for reminding me that I’m not invincible.

Thank you for the reminder that expectations are self-imposed limits, but we rather can live expectantly, as you will always show up.

Thank you for sending my husband to hold me when I’m having anxious thoughts and am taken down by depressive waves.

Thank you for the staff at YWAM and their hearts to serve and build Kingdom in Costa Rica.

Thank you for letting us be your hands, your feet, your voice and your heart where we are – right here and now.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.